That’s right folks! It’s that time of year again, when the only thing piling up faster than the snow are the emails. Here’s a gem I recently got that just screamed “Too good to be true”. At first I thought it was legit, since I had posted a few things on craigslist offering to help with various jobs for cash on the side. As I read on though, I quickly realized I was wrong. Lemme break down my train of thought section by section:
I’m looking for someone that can be trusted and reliable to work very well with good understanding as my Personal Assistant.This position i am offering is home-based and flexible, working with me is basically about instructions and following them, my only fear is that i may come at you impromptu sometimes, so i need someone who can be able to meet up with my irregular timings. As my Personal Assistant, your activities amongst other things will include;
Alright, typing could be worse I suppose. Some grammatical errors and typos but maybe English is not this person’s primary language. I am a bit skeptical about “i need someone who can be able to meet up with my irregular timings” though…
* Creating orders/pick slips/invoices/credit memos.
* Processing return authorizations for me as needed.
* Running personal errands.
* supervisions and monitoring.
* Scheduling programmes, flights and keeping me up to date with them.
* Acting as an alternative telephone correspondence while I’m away and when needed as i am hard on hearing that is why computer works for me. Making regular contacts and drop-offs on my behalf. Handling and monitoring some of my financial activities as the case maybe.
Credit card fraud.
Basic wage is $500 Weekly
I’m sure you’ll understand I tend to have a very busy schedule at this point. Please note that this position is not office based for now because of my frequent travels and tight schedules, it’s a part-time work from home for now and the flexibility means that there will be busier weeks than others. I would like to give you an immediate trial, so if you are interested kindly get back to me. As I have been checking my files and schedules and would need someone urgently to run some errands for me this week/next week, while I am away. I will have some funds sent to you to complete the errands and would get back to you with more information on that, get back to me with your Personal/Contact Details such as:
Well yea, drug-dealing credit card fraud leaders tend to be busy.
ADDRESS,Include Apt # If Available(No PO.BOX please):
HOME PHONE #:
Thanks in anticipation of your prompt response.
What the actual fuck is “Mildmay”?
That’s the whole email, word for word and unedited. Turns out this is a resurgence of a previous scam using almost identical wording. I’m considering writing back with advice on how to write a more convincing letter.