loooooooool!

I know this is the Internet and proper English is not a front-burner issue, but we need to talk…

You see, a lot of my friends have a particularly annoying habit.  It seems to make sense that if something is particularly funny, so funny that “lol” is not appropriate, it is necessary to extend out the “lol” to “lool” or even “loooool”.

This is not okay.

“lol” is shorthand for “laughing out loud”.  When you type “loool”, no matter how funny something is, you are really saying “laughing out out out loud”.  Every time someone does this, I imagine them stuck in a loop like a skipped record (although sadly I am not old enough to have experienced this first-hand).  This applies equally well to other acronyms, too:

  • “wtfff” = “what the fuck fuck fuck”
  • “omggg” = “oh my god god god”
  • “rooofl” = “rolling on on on floor laughing”

So please, if you are going to use shorthand, stick to the basics.

However, we are not limited only to shorthand here.  Indeed, I have seen people attempt to emulate drawn-out words in text.  For example, someone might say “please” in a whiny way, something I would write as “pleeeaaase”.  Almost inevitably, though, they will write “ppppppppplease” or “pleaseeeeeeee”.  This is what I imagine:

  • “p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-please” = stuttering problem
  • “pleaseeeeeeee” = “pleasy”

As a general rule, only draw out vowels, and the letters F, H, J, L, M, N, R, S, V, W, X, Y, and Z.  The letters B, C, D, G, K, P, Q, and T have no business being repeated for dramatic effect.  Also, try saying the word out loud first how you want it to sound, and make an educated guess as to where the repetition should occur.

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